●   ●   ●    storm cloud of her displeasure, he would have long hours of despair or rebellion: despair at what he felt to be his own spiritual obtuseness, rebellion against what seemed to him needless exactions or undeserved rebukes—based, so he sometimes felt, on her own failure to remember what she had said earlier or to recognize the practical requirements of his situation. 36 But always he came at last to the conclusion that there was a necessary lesson for him to learn, a purification of character to go through, and when he returned to her in that spirit, as the next diary entry repeatedly shows, the cloud would be gone.